Grit or Quit? The Hardest Part Is Knowing Which One You Need
Earlier this week, I was in Duck, NC on a short vacation with part of my family. One thing I try to do at least once on a beach trip is catch the sunrise. According to the weather report, it was scheduled for 5:53 a.m.—so my mom and I got to the beach early, ready for the show.
5:53 came and went.
We could see hints of color, a glow behind the clouds. The sun wanted to rise, but it wasn’t breaking through.
We stood there wondering—do we wait it out or head out for our workouts? We decided to wait a little longer.
And it was worth it.
That moment got me thinking: how often are we waiting for something to unfold—a promotion, a client decision, an opportunity—only to feel disappointed when it doesn’t happen on our timeline?
And how often are we standing in that in-between space asking the hard question:
Do I wait? Or do I walk away?
Sometimes we stay because we believe—in the potential, in the progress that’s already been made, in what could happen if we keep going.
Other times, it’s not so clear. The path forward might not be aligned anymore. The return on effort may no longer justify the cost. But deciding to walk away feels risky—especially when nothing is explicitly “wrong.”
This is the tension that Annie Duke and Angela Duckworth explore in their respective work on quitting and grit. At first glance, their ideas seem to contradict. But look deeper, and they align:
Grit is about sticking with what truly matters—what aligns with your values and long-term goals—even when it’s hard.
Quit is about knowing when to walk away—before the sunk costs pile up or the fear of change keeps you stuck.
It’s not about being stubborn or impulsive. It’s about being discerning.
In the case of the sunrise, it would’ve been easy to move on—I've seen plenty before. But the choice was low-stakes. The harder decisions, the ones that really stick with us, are when we’re deciding whether to leave a job, a client, or a path that once felt right.
Most of my clients don’t leave because something is broken. They leave because they’ve grown. The role, the environment, or the impact they want has shifted. And stepping away isn’t easy—it often feels premature, even when it’s exactly the right time.
As Annie Duke says, “When people quit on time, it will usually feel like they are quitting too early.”
So if you're in that moment—standing in the gray space between grit and quit—consider this your invitation to pause and reflect. Sometimes staying is strength. And sometimes, leaving is too.
If you’re sorting through one of these decisions, I’d be honored to serve as a sounding board.
And if today is a day to lean into grit, remember your why—and keep going, even if others don’t yet see what you see.
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